Alan Smoke
Test 1
Page 1
[The digital clock changes from 9:59 to
10:00. Alan closes his eyes and suddenly he opens his eyes in a
desolate park. Alan is in his Smoke form. It's pitch black and
everything is shadowy\
Alan narration “Okay, lets try this
again”
[Alan suddenly leaps above the park.
His hand trembles and there's a close up on his eyes again and when
he opens them again he's high up in the air. There is an aura around
him that appears to be keeping him upwards, almost like a mist of
shadows]
Alan “Okay so I can fly.”
[Alan suddenly flips upside down and
instantly frowns]
Alan “Sort-of”
[Suddenly a girl appeals “floating”
upside down just as Alan is. She makes a cute face just to spook him
and he gives a short scream in surprise]
Girl “Boo!”
Alan “Ah!”
Page 2
[The girl flips right-side up, hair
floating in the breeze. She appears as an older teen or young adult
with streaks in her hair and dress that can be best described as
“punk” with ripped jeans and a black sleeveless tanktop. In
contrast to Alan who is propelled by his “smoke” she floats quite
effortlessly. She smiles as her effort to spook the normally uptight
Alan has succeeded. She relaxes while floating]
Girl “Com'on smoke you're such a
tease! First thing about being a demon is about having fun, nothing
can hurt you if you're not looking for trouble. Take it from someone
who's been one for years.”
[Smoke eases up and smiles]
Smoke “I guess you're right but, am I
really a demon? I just wished for superpowers.”
[Girl smiles back, kicking back in the
air and and slouches back. She closes one eye and makes a “gun”
hand formation and goes “Psew” as if firing a gun]
Girl “Trust me you're a demon. If
you were a superhero, or as I like to call them, warlocks, my
internal danger clock would tell me to blast you into smithereens.”
[Girl wags her finger at Alan giving a
mischievous grin]
Girl “You probably have a clock too
so watch it, a good demon knows when to be scarce.”
[Alan gives a shrug of relief and
smiles. Girl laughs at this]
Alan “I guess I have a lot to learn.”
Girl “Hahaha don't worry babe I'll
teach ya.”
Page 3
[Girl spots a hooded druggie down
below]
Girl “Here's your first lesson, this
is all you'll need to know so pay attention.”
[The Girl suddenly grows fangs and an
aura appears around her, a black aura like armor that at first super
imposes on her but then replaces her clothing in a flash. Her outfit
is black. She swoops down and grabs the druggie just as he begins to
snort some powder from his bag. The druggie looks down as he is
lifted a little off the ground, but doesn't appear to notice Girl]
Alan “Hey wait!”
[Suddenly a stream of smoke with a
howling face rams into Girl knocking her off balance Alan is shown
accompanied by smoke monsters like you showed me in the concept pics
lowering to the ground right above the fallen Girl]
Alan “STOP!”
Page 4
[Girl smiles with the rage and joy of
battle and fires a red flame from her gun symbol hand. Alan dodges
it and quickly forms a smoke glove around his hand and begins to
choke Girl. His face is menacing]
Alan “Why!?”
Girl “You're really going to do it
aren't you? Are you?”
[Focus on Girl's maniacally grinning
face]
Girl “Do you really have the rage in you to kill a big bad like little ol me? Huh? Do ya?”
[Girl points at the druggie. He is
leaning against a tree (they are still in the park) snorting his
drug]
Girl “Look at him. He doesn't notice
a thing happening, neither me nor you. He must think that my lifting
him was just a product of his mind.”
[The Girl begins to grin even wider as
Alan grips her throat even tighter to the point that would crush the
windpipe of a mortal]
Girl “Don't you see we're imaginary!”
[Alan rescinds his hand looking blank
and stoic. There's a focus on him looking slightly dark and trouble,
smoke all around him as remnants of his rage are still present]
Alan “Who ARE you?”
Page 5
[Girl's demonic armor fades away to her
regular clothes as she begins to float away. She appears a bit
serious now.]
Girl “What am I? Find out who you
are first.”
Girl “Consider that homework, hell
it's everyone's homework. And for your information I was just
goading you, if I wanted to steal a soul or take a life I wouldn't do
it front of you. Now you're one step closer to discovering your
nature.”
[Girl flies off into the distance.
Alan stands on to the ground looking dazed and confused. The sun
begins to rise]
Page 6
[The alarm clock buzzes, it's 7am.
Alan sits up (in boy form) and flexes his hand.]
Alan “Who am I?”
[Alan's hand flickers between human and
demon. Alan then walks into the kitchen and watches the small
television mounted on the counter while eating a bagel with cream
cheese. A woman reporter talks on the screen on scene at the park ]
Reporter “This morning a young man
was found dead of a drug overdose after a pedestrian noticed his body
while walking his dog. Police have not released any other
information other than to tell us what we can't say enough. Kids,
drugs kill. Back to you Tom.”
[Alan turns off the television. A
final shot is seen of Alan exiting his house and Girl looking down on
him from above. The girl smiles and slowly fades out until she
disappears.
Alan Smoke Chapter 1-2
Robert Finch
Page 1
Panel 1
Alan boards the
school bus, small panel View from outside the bus with bus in the
fore front but at an angle at which we either see a little bit above
the bus or a bit at the side so we can see both
Panel 2
Alan, sitting the
bus, looks out the window daydreaming. The sun is beginning to rise
and the bus is still in the neighborhood zooming bass, we see a side
view of Alan and are able to see sun beginning to rise through the
window.
Alan “You know,
I don't know why I wake up anymore.”
Panel 3
Alan imagines
himself flying towards the same sky as Smoke, this is shown through a
facial shot where the image describes in Alan's speaking text is
going on in his head
Alan “The sun is
beautiful yet, it's more beautiful flying towards it in the air,
purposely going against the wind and knowing that even gravity has
less of a hold on you.”
Panel 4
Shot of Alan's
eyes as Alan blinks his eyes
Alan “I see a
normal world now...”
Panel 5
Alan opens his
eyes which now have the white lens that Smoke has
Alan “...but I
don't have to
Panel 6
Alan looks out the
window with his demon eyes at a world full of all sort of surreal
creatures. From ghost like slimy fog shaped creatures to human heads
trailed by only their vertebrae. Two kids, twins, one with horns and
one with a halo, knights flying as they chase serpents and [add
other things as you want to Aaron as long as they fit the theme of a
surreal kind of ghost like world. Hell if you want to fit a couple
Oc's feel free!]
Alan “Ever since
that first night I can see so much. And I haven't even scratched the
surface!”
Page 2
Panel 1
Image, sort of
faded since it is a memory (Or you could try a thought bubble effect
or anything else that you feel would work better) of Alan taking a
pitch black hardcover book with a sort of purplish aura. Only Alan's
hand, his knapsack the book is coming out of taken by the hand, and
the book is shown
Alan “I remember
that book.”
Panel 2
Another memory
panel. Alan is holding the book in shock. The book is open straight
through the middle.
Alan “Anyone at
school would have known what it was, the Black Book, the stuff of
nightmares and cold mysterious whispers.”
Panel 3
The book's pages
begin to emit a glow that shines on Alan's face as he begins to be a
shocked scream of agony, black splotches beginning to cover his face.
Alan “Not
thinking for a moment, I made a wish.”
Panel 4
Alan flexes his
fist which turns black as his Smoke alter ego but not quite becoming
a smoke hand, instead developing a black aura. View point is first
person point of view from Alan
Alan “This
creature I can become, Smoke, will it really become something I will
regret?”
Panel 5
Alan's black
aura's fist begins to shake in feel as we see, still through Alan's
POV a short, tomboyish girl with a glowing white aura, fierce like
fire all over her. The girl begins to approach Alan.
Alan “Oh shit!”
Panel 6
View point, no
longer POV, of Alan now in totally human form relaxing a little as
the girl turns her back on him. Alan relaxes as the dehibilating
feeling of fear that he had been feeling while embracing his demon
power has disspiated.
Alan “I thought
I was going to die. Maybe I should relax on the superpowers when I'm
around that girl.”
Page 3
Panel 1
The bus stops at
the school which looks like a flat, sprawling complex, not too
upscale but at the same time not quite a slummy school.
Panel 2
From the view of
Panel 1 we zoom in through one of the windows. We see Art Howard
chanting a spell over some boiling purplish liquid, though this may
not be apparent from the view
Panel 3
Zoomed in view but
normal shot of Art Howard chanting over the now steaming vial. He is
pancing a bit since it is obvious that the spell is going wrong. Art
Howard is a skinny, short nerd with thick glasses and an antiquated
out of fashion hair cut. He has a glowing magic book, THE WHITE, in
front of him
Art- “Nn-no-no-no!
Seal on seal on!”
Panel 4
Art looks shocked
, eyes bulging as the steam rising from the vial suddenly turns to
flame and scorches the ceiling. Promptly the alarm starts sounding.
Panel 5
Art is seen,
having run out of door, back pressed against it on the outside as if
barring entrance comicly and panting. The alarm is still sounding.
Art is sweating profusely.
Panel 6
Art sees, among
the crowd, a group of five or six kids boys and girls with Alan at
the forefront talking and the others laughing. Art looks at Alan
with a sign, secretly envious
Panel 7
Art opens the
WHITE BOOK and shifts through the pages
Art “I wonder if there's a cure for loneliness in here”
Page 4
Panel 1
Art puts his
finger on a page that shoes a whispy, ethreal woman held in someone's
hand. The image has text above it that say in very fancy font
“FAMILIAR”
Art “There we
go, a summoned acquaintance.
Panel 2
Art walks with his
head in his book, other people almost bulldozed in cry out “Hey!”
or “Watch it!” Art looks engrossed and behind him are teachers
with fire extinguishers putting out the fire.
Art “Says here
that to summon a familiar an element of soul is needed, a precious
thought or precious thing.”
Panel 3
Art's gleefully
takes his knapscack off of his back
Art “Oh I know
what'll work”
Panel 4
Art unhooks a key
chain attached to a zipper, a small figurine of Eden the Angel as
described earlier [Though if needed I can send the image again].
Eden the Angel is best described as “cute” with chibi angel wings
and a knowing, somewhat mature smile with a great deal of energy and
life.
Art “Eden the
Angel, lets bring you to life!”
Panel 5
Art lays down his
book and begins to chant as the Angel figurine, still attached to the
key chain, begins to glow and rise.
Art “Item of
heart give mind. A beating heart, a lasting heart I hold. A vibrant
mind, a clear mind I give...”
Panel 6
The Keychain part
of the familiar simply falls off as Eden's eyes, once lifeless, begin
to glow with vibrant life
Page 5
Panel 1
Eden drops to the
ground with a plop, hand on the ground as she steadies herself in a
sort of crouching position.
Eden “Long have
I wished to move, to think, to feel.”
Panel 2
Eden looks up
solemnly with vibrant, expressive eyes.
Eden “My Master,
this gift given to me is a gift given to you as well. I will not
leave you, and for you I shall forever move and fight.”
Panel 3
Art blushes
bashfully while Eden looks shocked and worrisome as she wonders what
she has done wrong
Art “I-I can't
be your master.”
Eden “Why not!?
Have I done something wrong my lord?”
Panel 4
Art sighs
Art- “I just,
don't want you to feel that you owe me anything. I don't want you to
think that you're a slave either, it's just too sad.”
Panel 5
Eden, looking
preturbed,, gives a sigh of her own
Eden “I never
said you had a choice. Even if I wasn't attached to your well being
I would follow you until you struck me down, I...”
Panel 6
The door opens to
the classrrom and we see three bullies. Though not sinister looking,
they do look stern and Jockish. The lead Jock, a shorter guy with a
bit of a napolean complex, approaches the viewer with smirk
John “Well there
you are, we were wondering where you were hiding kid.”
Page 6
Panel 1
Napoleon
John grabs Eden as she cries for help
Art
(Off Panel) “Hey!”
Eden
“Help!”
John
“This yours?”
Panel 2
Art
runs towards John to retrieve Eden only for John to toss her to a
larger copatriot
Art
“Give it back!”
Panel 3
Art
jumps up and down to get Eden from Tall Joe and due to Joe's quip
everyone saves Art laughs.
Art “She's precious, come on!”
Tall
Joe “Precious huh, why don't you marry her”
Panel 4
Joe
taunts Art as art rolls up his right sleeve
Tall
Joe “She's the only girl you're ever going to get you-”
Art
“I cannot...”
Panel 5
Arts
arm, marked an ink mark resembling a dragon tatoo, suddenly grows in
a great dark aura. A shadow from his arm suddenly lifts off his arm
and gains form
Art
“FORGIVE YOU!”
Panel 6
The
Shadow Man appears, presumably shaped by the smoke coming from Art's
arm. The bullies cower while Art gives a knowing smirk
Tall
Joe “Wh-where did this guy come from?”
Panel 7
The
shadow man, lifts Tall Joe up, his arm extending to allow him to lift
him higher
Page 7
Panel 1
Alan,
still with his friends, has a “spider sense” moment where he
senses something's wrong.
Alan
“I smell something...sinister.”
Panel 2
Alan,
running away from his friends who shout “Hey wait up!”
Panel 3
Alan
turns the corner and sees the shadow man lifting up tall joe,
changing part way into Smoke. Art can be seen fleeing the scene of
the crime
Alan
thought bubble “What is he doing?”
Panel 4
Alan,
from his open palms, launches cackling balls of energy with
jack-o-lattern faces.
Alan thought bubble “Well I can't just sit by...”
Panel 5
Balls
strike the shadow man, pinning him against the wall
Panel 6
Alan
trying to talk to the pinned Shadowman who is cackling at him.
Alan
“Why are you here? What do you want, you don't have to hurt him!”
Page 8
Panel 1
The
shadowman cackles
Shadowman
“I feed on mana, I live on mana. Youngling have you tasted the
intoxication of the human soul?
Panel 2
Alan
(Still in Smoke form) starts to break down emotionally. “W-what do
you mean, you mean demons eat souls?”
Panel 3
The
Shadowman begins to fade.
Shadowman
“Not that I haven't youngling, but souls give off energy. We feed
off it but, we also feed off emotion. And the boy I'm bound to has a
lot of that, my master you could say.”
Panel 4
Shadowman,
fading to the wind as if he were being ripped apart, only remains as
a floating eye and an evaporating smile
Shadowman
“Oh the delicious meals, don't you know terror makes the best
breakfast?”
Panel 5
Alan's
Smoke form starts to peel away, almost a half and half of human and
demon particularly with a demonic eye and a human face.
Alan
“What am I?”
Page 9
Panel 1
Alan
sitting on a desk in a crowded homeroom, kids are seen chatting in
the background, among those kids Art himself is seen face stuck into
his spell book. Alan stares at his hand contemplating.
Panel 2
Art
himself has his face in his spell book while his angel familiar,
Eden, whispers in his ear.
Eden
“Master, I sense something.”
Panel 3
Art
and Alan look right at each other, eyes looked as if they are sizing
each other up.
Panel 4
Each
of the two look away suddenly. Art back at his book and Alan back at
his hand. A panned out view shows all sorts of ghosties and specters
watching, some eating snacks that resmble anatomically correct
hearts, pop corn, human limbs, cartoon hearts, whispy soul like
things, apples (And you can add to this list, it's a big panel)
Art
and Alan “Probably nothing.”
Popcorn
demon “Ah, and it was just about to get good.”
Page 10
Panel 1
A
half moon is out and a teenage boy, sitting on a bus bench (waiting
for bus) shuffles through his back pack.
Panel 2
Too
the boy's surprise he finds a heavy leather bound book, the Black
Book, with “THE BLACK” written in bold letters on the front
.
Panel 3
The
boy dutifully reads the book as the stars twinkle in the night sky
(And as a strange shadow emenates from the BLACK BOOK. The view is
top down and we see Alice flying as if doing a back stroke, as in
flying with her back facing the ground and looking at the sky. The
shadow is a darkened outline of a man wearing 19th
century garb smoking a piper
Alice
“What a beautiful night.”
[Note,
the shadow is formless and has no face, for the next chapter involves
a series of demonic doors.]
Alan Smoke Chapter 2
Robert Finch
Page 1
Panel 1
Alan
in bed. We see his room, a cluttered boy's room with a tv, clothes
on the floor, and a couple posters held up on the wall by tape. He
is sleeping but is in an uncomfortable position as if he were tossing
and turning.
Panel 2
Facial
shot of Alan smiling in his sleep. He murmurs
Alan
“It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's...”
Panel 3
Same
shot but suddenly Alan's eyes open going all white like in chapter 1
page 7
Panel 4
Dream
Sequence. Alan watches in shock as he watches the sky and the stars
start to go out one by one
Panel 5
Alan
is running towards the last remaining stars and the moon as darkness
accumulates behind him. He shouts out frantically.
Alan
“This isn't what I want!”
Panel 6
Alan
starts to be covered by darkness and we hear an ominous voice.
Ominous
Voice “What is your name?”
Page 2
Panel 1
Alan
wakes up with a start, going from a relaxed position to sitting up in
a flash. His eyes are normal now
Alan
“What the heck was that?
Panel 2
Panel 2
Alan
siting up stares at a corner of his room full of shadows. The voice
bubble comes from something he can't see, and neither can the reader.
Alice
“Prophetic dreams, how curious.”
Panel 3
Alan's
eyes start to emit a glow as his eyes turn white much more and Alice
is shown floating in a “sitting down” position with her hand on
her chin.
Alice
“You really ought to wonder Smoke, what is this world we live in?”
Alan
“Shut up! You're a killer aren't you? Like you almost killed that
man!”
Panel 4
Alice
waggles her finger smiling.
Alice
“I was merely testing you to see what kind of person you were.
Trust me, if you were the sort of demon who didn't stop me I would
have far less of a good opinion of you.
Panel 5
Alice's
eyes glow as her face becomes serious and somber.
Alice
“Still, there are things in this world that are beyond human
comprehension.”
Panel 6
Alice
starts to float backwards out of the room, phasing through the wall
laughing. Alan reaches form Alice not wanting her to leave
Alice
“It's a good thing that you're a demon now isn't it?”
Sfx
“HAHAHAHAHAHA”
Alan “Wait, come back!”
Alan “Wait, come back!”
Page 3
Panel 1
Alan
pants, still in his jammies having not transformed into smoke but
still has his “demon eyes” on. (Perhaps this can be represented
as his eyes retaining their pupils but still glowing? Just a
thought). He stops in fatigue, bending over to catch his breath.
Ominous
voice “What is your name?”
Panel 2
Alan
looks up at a colossal door in the middle of the street It is large
and wooden, halfway between an oaken door and a gate. An elderly man
wearing 19th
century dress sits on a tall stool watching him.
Panel 3
Alan
slowly walks towards and the man, unsure whether this is dream or
reality.
Alan
“I'm Alan, sir...”
Ominous
man/Sir “No-no, what you call your other self.
Panel 4
Alan's
eyes go wide
Alan
“Smoke”
Ominous
man/Sir “Yes, in a way that's who you really are, you just don't
know it yet.”
Panel 5
The
ominous man starts to fade away along with the door as the sun rises,
echos of light blue and orange heralding the sun peeking over the
horizon. The ominous man smiles
Ominous
man/Sir “Come to me at night. Surely you'll find me and yourself
there.”
Page 4
Panel 1
Art
Howard and Eden observe the same sunrise. Art Howard has packed a
picnic basket full of sandwiches and chips as they watch the Soccer
team practice on the field in the distance (The two are on the top
bench). Their backs are to us and Eden is on Art's shoulder
Art
“Your first sunset, what do you think?”
Eden
“Give me a minute, a loooooong minute.”
Panel 2
Eden
eats a grape in her tiny hands
Eden
“And then a loooong bite, damn, I love life.”
Panel 3
Art
Howard grips his fist in rage and stares onward, his eyes glassy with
saddness, crying a tear and chocking on remorse
Art
“Trust me, life isn't all it's choked up to be.
Panel 4
Panel 4
A
sequence of mini panels showing Art slammed against the wall, jeered
at in class, people laughing at him in the hallway. All this above
an image of art staring off into the business with rage.
Art
“When you aren't treated like you're living it can be like you were
put on the Earth solely to suffer”
Panel 5
Eden
looks up at Art Howard, the pep in her step slightly muted with a
neutral frown
Eden
“Well I can't say I know anything about that. The way I see it...”
Panel 6
Eden
smiling, indulging herself in a big juicy bite of her grape
Eden
“...life has all it needs to make a person glow.”
Page 5
Panel 1
Art
Howard's WHITE BOOK is open and he, with one finger on a passage on a
page, begins to glow with power
Art
“Mark thee, my Enemy”
Panel 2
One
of the bullies shown in the flashback on Page 4 panel 4 gets a
triangle on his forhead formed by three white dots with little lines
connecting them to form a triangle. Other bullies shown in the
flashbacks are marked in the same panel, but they are all oblivious
Art
off panel “There, perfect targets for my spell, whatever I choose
to cast anyway.”
Panel 3
Eden
stands on Art's shoulder, using a comprably giant napkin piece to
whipe her mouth of grape juice
Eden
“These guy are bad right?”
Panel 4
Alan
puts two fingers on his temples and his glasses shine with the light,
obscuring the emotion in his eyes
Alan
“They hurt me and I still hurt. I don't know what could make me
feel better besides knowing justice.”
Panel 5
Eden
looks to her side, lost in thought.
Eden
“So I guess this is what you do when you hurt?
Page 6
Panel 1
Alan
arrives from school on the school bus, visibly dazed.
Panel 2
A boy
waves to Alan and he simply looks right through him, ignoring him.
Panel 3
The
boy shrugs, looking miffed at the ignoring as Alan passes
Panel 4
We
see Alan's glowing eyes
Panel 5
We
see from Alan's perspective everyone's skelletons with none of the
organs present (Although we get an outine of their figures) and we
see a beating realistic heart like organ beating in the general
middle ribcage area, like a fleshy cirrcle with a bite out of it.
Panel 6
Alan
reaches his arm out, but an invisible black hand extends from his arm
as his own arm extends.
Panel 7
Alan's
ghost arm takes a piece of a passing person's heart/soul.
Panel 8
Shot
of Alan's arms glowing flame like as the piece enters his body.
Other
student's voice off panel “Alan, you okay?
Panel 9
We
see a glowing Alan and smoke hybrid glowing with power, sort of like
Alan's body is inside smoke looking out like smoke is an exoskelleton
but somewhat see through. The point is to show both creatures
existing at once. Smoke glowers as Alan fakes a smile to the friend
in the foreground, back to us.
Alan
“I'm fine man, no worries.”
Other
student/friend “That's cool but, you've been strangely distant
lately you know?”
Panel 10
Alan's
eye's stop glowing and he's fully Alan again, looking concerned.
Alan
“Really?”
Page 7
Panel 1
Alan
and the other student walk down the hall together, chatting
friendily. Other Student/Bobby is an average looking guy with a red
baseball hat and a “cool” look to him.
Other
Student/Friend/Bobby “Well Jimmy went missing the other day, and
you know where he was last seen?
Panel 2
Bobby
holds up a finger to make a point, deathly serious like he is telling
a ghost story. We see Bobby's face is seen while Alan's is only
barely seen to know he's being talked to and talking back
Bobby
“The library, so it must've been the Black Book.”
Alan
“The Black Book huh?”
Panel 3
Bobby
grins, a dark background forming behind him as he tells what amounts
to a ghost story. The black book is shown behind him and the image
of a generic boy reading it and screaming it.
Bobby
“You know what they say, whoever reads it has bad luck, bad juju
man! It grants wishes, but always the wrong way.”
Panel 4
Alan
ponders for a moment and retorts to Bobby with a small grin. Bobby
is shocked by this retort.
Alan
“You know Bobby I'm not sure I agree with you.”
Bobby
“What?!”
Alan
“I read the Black Book once and nothing has happened to me. In
fact I even got what I wished for, though I can't say what it is.”
Panel 5
Bobby
slaps Alan on the back playfully
Bobby
“You're joking right, like no one has ever read the book and
lived!”
Panel 6
Alan
looks off into the distance, looking at an image of Smoke from his
imagination
Alan
“I think the Black Book gives you what you really want. And if
what you want is bad something bad happens, and if what you want is
good something good happens instead.”
Page 8
Panel 1
The
bell rings
SFX
“RIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG
Panel 2
Bobby
runs off down the hallway and waves back at Alan
Bobby
“Cya later man. Catch me at the game against Delran. Home team
advantage!”
Panel 3
Bobby
passes Art who as he passes Bobby Art glares at him. Eden is sitting
on Art's shoulder
Panel 4
Art
talks to Eden
Art
“That's Bob Hawk also on the soccer team, can't say he's a bad guy
though, he laughs but never cracks any of the jokes.”
Panel 5
Eden
looks down in sadness and sympathy
Eden
“But that still hurt you right?”
Panel 6
Art
puts his hand to his heart
Art
“It still hurts, I can still hear all of them laughing, all of them
smiling, all of them but me.”
Panel 7
Eden
gives a small smile looking up at Art
Eden
“Then add him to list too! Though at this rate the spell will
probably have to target everyone on the team right?”
Panel 8
Art
grimaces
Art
“All my life I've wanted to hit as hard as I got, to be the hero
that stands up to all the bullies.”
Panel 9
Art
watches Eden snack on a small chocolate as she eats
Art
“To be as happy as when I see you eat.” Eden “You betch'ya!”
Page 9
Panel 1
The
soccer field again, with students and parents lining the stands and
chearleaders practicing and preparing their cheers
Narration “Later that day”
Panel 2
Alan
sits with his friends chatting to them
Friend
1 “So when's Bobby going to come out”
Friend
2 “GO BOBBY!”
Alan
“Come on Bobby, we're waiting for ya!”
Panel 3
Shot
to the Soccer locker room with all sorts of gowing designs on the
walls as the Soccer players including the bullies are oblivious and
are putting on their pads.
Player
1 “Lets get it ON!”
The
rest of the Players “HOO-RAH!”
Panel 4
Art
Howard adjusting his glasses, the reflection of light making his eyes
not visible and his mouth slightly sinister
Art
“Oh we'll get it ON alright.”
Panel 5
Suddenly
the Locker room darkens with the soccer players still slightly
visible
Player
“What's with the lights!”
Panel 6
Glowing
outlines of Art Howard suddenly appear neon-like all over the Soccer
locker rooms, positions in various preparations to beat up the soccer
players from fist and palm together, crackling knuckles, stretching,
and all of the faces looking violent and sinister.
Page 10
Panel 1
One
of the “illusion” duplicates, bunches one of the guys in the gut
Art
“Payback is meaningless...”
Panel 2
Two
of the Art constructs punch one of the players in the face at the
same time
Art
“...counting blows...”
Panel 3
An
art construct standing on the ceiling and therefore upside down from
our vision pulls one of the bullies up to choke him from up in the
air
Art
“...measuring pain...”
Panel 3
An
Art construct kicks one of the bullies with extraordinary strength
into one of the lockers as other constructss are seen beating up
other players while a few are untouched cowering in feel close to the
ground.
Art
“...I can't measure the rage I feel, but finally it fills this room
and lets itself be known...”
Panel 4
An
Alan construct holds up a sphere of shining power, like an energy
blast about to explode
Art
“...and to burn as it has burned within me...”
Art
“...about you”
Panel
5
The outside of the locker room suddenly engulfed in an
exposion that blows the door open and cracks it in two.
Page
11
Panel 1
A
reporter stands in front of the lockeroom as bodies are brought out
on stretchers and many of the students who were unharmed huddle in
panic against the walls.
Reporter
girl “At a scene I was originally covering as a happy success story
of a small team of children, behind me a bomb has gone off in idyllic
King high-school by a person still unknown and still at large.
Although none are expected to die, many are expected to incur
crippling injuries with the need of extensive rehabilitation. I Dana
Giovanni am-.”
Panel 2
The
Reporter is hurried away from the scene by a cop who has just arrived
Cop
“Hey this is a crime scene lady”
Reporter
girl “Hey I'm just doing me job pig, people have a right to-”
Panel 3
The
bleachers where everyone is going this way and that in a panic.
Panel 4
Alan
stares at the smoke, clenching his fis fist which is glowing black
Alan
“I guess I should've expected a super-villain to appear.”
Panel 5
Alan
seen with Smoke like teeth if not demonic with glowing whie eyes
looking fearsome and angry.
Alan
“A good fight is just what I need!”
Page 12
Panel 1
Alice
above the scene in general looking down a the scene with the
paramedics coming out of the scene. She's flying for fun, giving a
little smile
Alice
“Now here's not something you see everyday, plenty of broken souls
from this.”
Panel 2
Alice's
“spider sense” like warning system for warlocks manifests. Her
eyes glow red.
Alice
“A warlock!”
Panel 3
Alice
watches as a floating light shape of a person appears, Lana from
chapter 1-2 teleporting in
Alice
“Oh, it's just you Watchgirl”
Panel 4
Lana
appears holding an electronic stop watch in her hand. The watch in
her hand starts to deteroriae and blow in the wind as her hair blows
in the same direction
Lana
“I have a hard time believing a brand new warlock did this Alice,
any information?”
Panel 5
Alice
shrugs giving a small grin
Alice
“Just that there's a new demon here too, and I have to tell ya
Watch, he likes to fight.”
Panel 6
Lana/Watchgirl
magics in an old fashioned and oversized pocket watch and looks into
as one would a cellphone
Lana
“The normal exchange, you promise not to harm the warlock and I
won't kill the demon you're bringing into your fold.”
Panel 7
Alice
and Lana talk in the far background and are barely dots to the viewer
as Smoke flies in the format searching for traces of the source of
the destructiv magic.
Alice
“It's a good deal, I don't like leaving things to chance. If
someone dies there's one less person left to look forward to.
Lana/Watchgirl
“Time will tell, now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to log in the
potential's class and rank.”
Alan Smoke Chapter 3
Robert Finch
Page 1
Panel 1
The 19th century gentleman
gatekeeper smiles and says his line, presumably speaking to Alan
Gatekeeper “Who are you?”
Panel 2
Alan's face saying his line. He is in
human form but with his demonic eyes which explain him seeing the
Gatekeeper
Alan “I am, Alan Brook”
[Note, the rest of the page is a visual
montage]
Panel 3
Alan is laughing with his friends while
walking through the mall together
Panel 4
Alan is in a library studying with a
pal, sharing the book as they take notes together
Panel 5
Alan kisses a girl while outside on a
blanket watching a meteor shower
Panel 6
Alan stands in front of the Gatekeeper
Alan “I guess despite that I still
want more.”
Page 2
Panel 1
Alan speaks heroically before the
gatekeeper, almost challenging him. He sees the gatekeeper as an
unknown, perhaps a threat or perhaps an ally.
Alan “I don't know who you are, but I
told myself...”
Panel 2
The gatekeeper smiles at Alan's speech
Alan “...if someone called out to me,
good or bad, that as a hero I would rise up to meet him.”
Panel 3
The gatekeeper gives a kindly smile.
Gatekeeper “You feel I am challenging
you then, so be it.”
Panel 4
The Gatekeeper pulls a floating chain
and the door opens, Alan stepping inside.
Alan “I hear...voices? There's
people inside!
Panel 5
The gate shuts and the Gatekeeper
laughs maniacally.
Page 3
Panel 1
The Gatekeeper, still laughing, walks
to the other side of the door
Panel 2
The Gatekeeper presses his ear to the
door, frowning semi seriously
Panel 3
The Gatekeeper is suddenly alarmed and
here's a “KNOCK”
SFK KNOCK
Panel 4
Alan suddenly stumbles out of the door
surrounded by a shadowy aura looking visibly shaken up.
The Gatekeeper, stumbling to get out of
Alan's way, is caught off guard that Alan survived
Gatekeeper “You, you faced the
mirror...”
Panel 5
Alan is shaky (And is still in Alan
form with demon eyes)
Alan “I saw it right away. Everything I ever wanted or had, so visible I wanted to kill myself.”
Page 4
Panel 1
Alan begins to clench his teeth in
rage, his smoke armor beginning to envelop him. The Gatekeeper looks
visibly scared of Alan
Alan “But I knew, that as plastic as
I ever was or ever will be, how much worse it would be if I simply
disappeared.”
Panel 2
Alan, part human and part smoke, pushes
Gatekeeper against his own door. To do this a shadowy hand emits
from his own arm, enlarging and pinning the gatekeeper.
Alan “THAT I DESPITE ALL MY MISTAKES
I'D FINISH WHAT I STARTED!”
Panel 3
A panel of what Alan saw in the door, a
darkness with three teenagers (including the boy we saw at the end of
1-2) sprawled on the ground in various states of agony
Alan “Do you know what I saw in there
when I made my decision? Bodies. And you killed them like you tried
to kill me.”
Panel 4
The Gatekeeper's face, halfway between
a smile and fear
Gatekeeper “What killed them was
themselves. And what I fear is that you were so sure...”
Panel 5
Gatekeeper and the door begin to
vanish, the door itself beginning to crack and break
Gatekeeper “...you were so sure that
whatever you were or became that you could live with yourself, that
is very scary.”
Panel 6
Gatekeeper is mostly gone except his
wry grin like the cheshire cat disappearing in Alice and Wonderland
Gatekeeper “Courage, in the end, is
staring into a lion's mouth and then walking inside.”
Panel 7
Alan's Smoke armor begins to fade and
he begins to look worried.”
Page 5
Panel 1
Art is studying in his room, huddled in
front of his glowing book and a circle he was building with all sorts
of “runes” [Aaron have a ball with this! You can make the runes
be faces of people you know, heroes you like, or the magic script
names of things you like. The circle looks sorta like an alchemic
circle]
Panel 2
Suddenly Art turns and sees his digital
clock start to expand majorly, starting to form a door.
Panel 3
Lana steps out of the door clock and
starts self righteously speaking with a small grin
Lana “That was quite the spell you
pulled off, just remarkable”
Panel 4
Art, panicking, motions motions his
finger and suddenly a string appears
Panel 5
Lana is supposedly entrapped by a web
of magic wires like a net or spiderweb.
Panel 6
Lana breaks through the web with no
effort all.
Lana “But you have a lot to learn,
you're not fighting a human here.”
Panel 7
Art and Lana face each other and there
is heated tension. Art looks like he's ready to fight but Lana is
smiling and smug.
Art “A specter?”
Lana “No, a warlock”
Lana “No, a warlock”
Page 6
Panel 1
Lana/Clockgirl walks over to the shelf
where Eden is sleeping and she pets her with her finger
Lana “I came hear to offer you a
message, you are not alone in this magical world.”
Panel 2
Panel 2
Lana smirks “But not everyone is as
friendly as I am.”
Panel 3
Art bows before Lana
Art “Please, there is so much I have
to ask you!”
Panel 4
Lana yawns, stretching
Lana “And there is so much I will
teach you, here's your first lesson.”
Panel 5
Lana sits down and draws on a piece of
paper. She draws images representing the three magic schools,
Warlock, witch, and arcane. For a warlock she draws a mage firing
beams of life, for a witch she draws a witch on a broom, and for an
arcane she draws a generic ghost
Lana “There are three schools.
Warlocks are combat mages, Witches prefer enchantment, and Arcanes
specialize in channeling and communicating with spirits, demons,
whatever you want to call them. You've used magic from all three
schools, someday you must choose a speciality”
Panel 6
Lana smiles and pats Art on the head
like an elder to a child.
Lana “I will return, but for now
watch yourself, there are so few of us.”
Art “O-kay?”
Art “O-kay?”
Panel 7
Lana vanishes into a pocket watch.
Panel 8
Lana's pocketwatch flies out the window
while Art looks on in shock.
Page 7 Alan and Alice are sparring
above the soccer field from earlier
Panel 1
Alan (as smoke) screams as he throws a
punch
Alice (off panel) “Since I can't
change your mind...”
Panel 2
Alice blocks the punch, smiling
Alice “See, nothing. You're not
going to take a warlock out like that.”
Panel 3
Alan frowns while Alice friendly pats
him on the background
Alan “How can I fight this
guy?”
Alice “Oh cheer up you're plenty powerful. We just have to figure out when you're most powerful.”
Panel 4
Alice “Oh cheer up you're plenty powerful. We just have to figure out when you're most powerful.”
Panel 4
Alan smiles and holds out his hand,
suddenly an energy ball forms in his hand
Alan “Thanks I guess”
Panel 5
Alice stares at the ball close up
comically
Alice “Wait a minute, that energy
ball packs a punch.
Panel 6
Alice smiles in an “aha” moment
Alice “I got it! Stop trying to
clear your mind. Think stuff, think stuff you like!”
Panel 7
Pan out as the entire soccer field
starts to be enveloped in energy.
SFX “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Page 8
Panel 1
Alan's/smokes eyes closed
Alice “Hey, wake up!”
Panel 2
The sun rises and Art is on the
bleachers. Alice points to him, shrugging.
Alice “If you really want to fight
him...”
Panel 3
Alice suddenly screams as an energy
blast hits her.
Panel 4
Art, glass's reflecting making him look
somewhat villainous approaching Alan and Alice
Art- “Don't act like I can't see you,
you spooks. What do you want with me?”
Panel 5
Alice flees and Alan is surprised
Alice “It's your fight tiger.”
Alan “Hey!”
Alan “Hey!”
Page 9
Panel 1
Alan as smoke faces Art, looking
nervous
Alan thought bubble “This is him?
He's just a nerd.”
Panel 2
Panel 2
Art stares into his book, which is
glowing
Art “Now tell me, what do you want
demon?
Panel 3
Alan continues to panic as Art
approaches him
Alan thought bubble “I, I can't kill
another kid, he's not even attacking anyone right now!”
Panel 4
Smoke flies off as Art watches
Panel 5
Art bends and sits down on the ground
having seen something.
Panel 6
Art swipes a finger on a blade of grass
Panel 7
Art watches the sun rise, looking at
his finger which has dried blood on it.
Art “Blood. Why do I feel so bad
about it now?”
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